Cry
by Ron'sBella
Summary: short songfic based on Kelly Clarkson's 'cry'. Hermione's feelings about Ron and Lavender


**Is this what it feels like to really cry?**

Hermione's feelings during the whole lavender drama. Set to Kelly Clarkson's song "Cry". Reviews pls! No flames, constructive criticism accepted.

A/N: my first published fic, so be nice pls

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Hermione sat on her four-poster going over the last few months in her head. It had been hard enough dealing with the boy she loved seeing someone other than her... With Lavender... Thrashing about the place.

But she also had to endure the looks and comments of others. Shock at first that Ron hadn't gotten with her, then sympathy. How could she move on with constant visual reminders from the pair themselves, and emotional reminders from those around her.

_If anyone asks, I'll tell them with both just moved on_

_When people all stare ill pretend that I don't hear them talk_

_Whenever I see you, ill swallow my pride and bite my tongue._

_Pretend I'm ok with it all_

_Act like there's nothing wrong..._

She reflected on her reactions after being consoled. She just told everyone that she had no idea what they were talking about. She had never fancied him, and why did everyone think that?

And of course she avoided them common room at all costs. Even if she had accepted that she had lost, that he would never be hers, she shouldn't have to see it! Gryffindor Hermione Granger may be, but made of stone she was not.

_Is it over yet?_

_Can I open my eyes?_

_Is this as hard as it gets?_

_Is this what it feels like to really cry?_

_Cry, cry._

Hermione suddenly felt a hot stinging feeling in her eyes. She was stronger than this, wasn't she? She'd been through so much in the past six years and held her head high, why should Ronald Weasley's Immature actions hurt her the way it did?

Tears dropped freely onto her blanketed lap...

_If anyone asks, I'll tell them we just grew apart_

_Yeah; What do I care, if they believe me or not?_

"Why aren't you friends now then?" they would ask. Which, honestly was a stupid question, how many times had their temper gotten in the way of their friendship?

All of Gryffindor common room could probably answer that

.

"Oh, we fell out before that." She'd reply every time.

True as that may be; their falling had more to do with tarts and flying canaries then 'lack of support' in Quidditch...

_Whenever I feel, your memory is breaking my heart..._

_Ill pretend I'm ok with it all._

_Act like there's nothing wrong_

The memory of hurtling canaries at Ron on that fated night came back to her.

The hurt she felt, and the look on his face before and after the attack.

When he first entered the room, it showed shock and guilt.

Then after she hoped off the desk, it was one of relief and guilt.

Then of course, it was all pain. Did it measure up to her pain? Maybe, maybe not.

_Is it over yet?_

_Can I open my eyes?_

_Is this as hard as it gets?_

_Is this what it feels like to really cry?_

_Cry, cry._

She was crying openly now; sobbing in fact. No matter how much she hated that prince book, the mufflito spell was really paying off. If Lavender came in now and heard the sobs, well, Hermione didn't think she could bear it.

In the beginning, Hermione realised the motive behind Ron's actions. He was a 16-year-old male after all. (What other reason could there be?) However, never in her wildest dreams, did she think it would go on for this long. Maybe she'd had it wrong all along. Hermione Jean Granger was not destined for a life with Ronald Bilibus Weasley. Ron never liked her more than a friend and she was fooling herself for thinking otherwise.

_I'm talking in circles,_

_I'm lyin' they know it,_

_Why won't this all just go away?_

Earlier today, Hermione could have sworn she heard a few third year girls whispering behind their hands about her. They pointed and shook their hands. "Poor thing..." had caught on the breeze and reached her ears. That was when she ran back to the safety of her bed. She just couldn't take it anymore. It had been months!

_Is it over yet?_

_Can I open my eyes?_

"JUST STOP!!!" She screamed. Would her tears ever dry?

_Is this as hard as it gets?_

_Is this what it feels like to really cry?_

_Cry, cry..._

She reached for her suitcase and removed a fresh handkerchief. This couldn't go on forever, Hermione gathered up all her Gryffindor courage and vowed that she would never, ever, cry over him again. Enough! She jumped off her bed and finished off her packing for the Christmas holidays...


End file.
